In the Mad Liberation space, Laurel is a highly intelligent, creative, provocative, and compassionate light. She traverses paradox and paradigms: from Jehovah’s Witness to psychosis endurer, now spiritually awakened scientist, witch and healer.
A scientist and mental health activist, Laurel is a psych survivor who found power in her madness. Freed from the psychiatric system by her self-determination, she champions mad liberation as the key to collective liberation. Laurel believes that mad people hold the power to dismantle oppressive systems for good once they embrace the gifts found in their madness.
What a treat that today we get to dive deeper into her story and get her wise words of wisdom on mad living!!! This is a hybrid issue with Laurel’s written words with snippets from a chat we had a few months ago woven in. Enjoy 🔮
The Chapters:
1. Laurel’s Life
2. How do we escape the cult of the status quo?
3. “I like thinking like an atheist, it keeps me sharp” On Science x Spirituality
4. Dark Magic for Radical Baddies
I recommend reading this issue in the app for a more pleasant experience:
Get more from arohi in the Substack app
Available for iOS and Android
Laurel’s Life
I was born and raised in Kingston, Jamaica. My parents migrated to the US in 2017, and that’s when I began my tertiary education. (I had to take some gap years because the Jehovah’s Witness cult frowns upon higher education).
I attended the University of the West Indies, Mona campus and I majored in animal biology with a minor in psychology. My current focus is applying my knowledge of psychology to theoretical biology in order to gain a deeper understanding of the Gaia hypothesis - how the Earth regulates itself.
I'm particularly interested in how this model aligns with our current understanding of reality, especially considering the events since 2020 that have shaped our collective experience.
Me doing lab work in January 2020
When my parents left for the US in 2017, I stopped going to church as frequently, but I still tried to attend whenever I could because it remained my only means of connecting with God.
I attempted suicide in 2018 because of the cult. When my dad visited me in Jamaica because of the incident, he asked me to rescind a disassociation letter I had sent to the elders, and just stop going to the meetings instead because if I officially got excommunicated, he wouldn't be able to talk to me, and he didn't want that (a bit ridiculous, but colonized minds be wilding).
At the last JW district convention I ever attended (2019)
In 2020 during the quarantine, I finally awakened because something made me realize that cult members didn’t think their own thoughts. From there, I started freely cultivating a relationship with the divine on my own.
I was 24 at the time, and the month before I turned 25 I had my first psychotic episode. My interest in neuroscience made this particularly significant to me, as the prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-level cognitive processes, is said to reach full maturity around 25. Everything seemed perfectly timed for me to experience this altered state during the early stages of a global pandemic, as if my life were preordained by some higher power. This realization fueled my existential crisis.
A major influence on my suicidality was knowing how the Jehovah's Witnesses practice shunning, and assuming that my parents would abandon me if I left the faith. But we have a better relationship now than we ever had when I was in the cult, and I wouldn’t have been able to heal properly during my spiritual crisis if it weren’t for their love and support, even though they know I’m vehemently against their religion.
Hear more from Laurel:
On Enlightenment & Change
1×
0:00
-6:30
How do we escape the cult of the status quo?
You have shared vignettes online of your time in Jehovah’s Witness and how leaving triggered a spiritual awakening, healing journey, and psychosis.
How would you compare/contrast your experience in Jehovah’s Witness with more broadly socially accepted institutions and communities that employ the same tactics to maintain the status quo?
As a Jehovah’s Witness I was told what to think, and I was conditioned to be fearful of seeking knowledge or entertaining thoughts that opposed my indoctrination, as punitive measures were imposed on those who did so (baptized members who question or no longer share JW beliefs are disfellowshipped/excommunicated).
I noticed that psychiatry employs similar tactics, as those who have thoughts that have the potential to challenge colonial conditioning are punished with ostracizing labels.
How do we better recognize and resist this cultural conditioning?
Through introspection.
When we get to know ourselves intimately, we’re better able to identify our dissatisfaction with the way things are, and recognize the way our society molded us to think and act in ways that cause us to be miserable.
Inner work is key to us breaking free from oppressive systems individually and collectively.
(Cannabis helped me with this because I was naturally out of touch with my emotions; I used it to check in with my emotions and introspect).
If the process of individuating literally is accepting madness, by letting go of former mental models and illusions of truth, how do we better ride this wave?
By first of all finding value in madness – as it’s linked to genius, spirituality, and creativity – we acknowledge and accept necessary qualities to nurture for creating a better world to exist in.
Riding the wave becomes easier when we have like-minded individuals to ride it with, so finding people who have accepted their madness is crucial for our individuation process to progress more smoothly.
People conforming to the status quo is one of the major hindrances to our collective evolution, so once someone realizes that “normal” is actually a problem, they’ll most likely be more accepting of their madness.
How do we better support each other through this unraveling and healing journey?
Sharing your story online can inspire people on their own healing journeys. I gained so much strength and insight from other people’s religious deconstruction stories.
However, we also need to take the initiative to build loving communities so that our people can find us, and so that we can exchange advice, resources, and support. That’s the reason I created the Catharsis community - I wanted to create an accessible space for people to share their stories and get support from like minded individuals.
Hear more from Laurel
On Soul Sickness
1×
0:00
-1:50
“I like thinking like an atheist, it keeps me sharp”
You are a scientist and you say studying science and evolution in college strengthened your faith in god as the creator. In your dream world, how would spirituality be more scientific, and how would science be more spiritual?
While learning evolution I constantly asked the question: “What if we were created to evolve?”
I found the answer within my psychosis.
Physicist Wolfgang Pauli theorized that life could have evolved through unconscious processes in the psyche occurring alongside biological processes. My experience with psychosis shaped a unique perspective on this idea, as it helped me understand the unconscious mind as a potential source of what some refer to as God. This understanding supports the placebo effect phenomenon and explains why prayer and manifestation can be effective in some cases. People are able to manifest their desired reality if they truly believe they can, even if they attribute this power to an external God. It's the faith and belief that brings about the desired result.
However, if God lives in our unconscious mind rather than in the sky, that would indeed mean that we are all capable of harnessing this power. With conscious effort, we can choose to evolve as gods, manifest a better world and live in right relationship with the Earth.
In my dream world, spirituality would be more balanced between emotions/feelings and logic/critical thinking informed by research and factual evidence from credible sources. I believe this approach would help to mitigate the spread of conspiracy theories and encourage spiritual individuals to prioritize what truly matters: saving our planet.
Our understanding of science could increase exponentially if more scientists realized that believing in a higher power as a critical thinker doesn’t mean believing in a magic man in the sky. It just means understanding that there is order in a seemingly chaotic Universe.
Psychology lends depth to the natural sciences. Based on my understanding of the natural sciences, I realize that I would likely be an atheist now if I hadn't encountered spiritual psychosis during my journey of deconstruction.
While I understand and appreciate atheism, I also believe progress in solidifying evolution as fact more than theory, and deconstructing religious delusion could be aided by more scientists recognizing the mathematical nature of reality. This recognition could lead to a reframing of "chance" events as potentially calculated occurrences within a conscious Universe, or essentially, the workings of a higher power.
Even Einstein said, 'God does not play dice with the Universe,' and he was a pantheist. I also identify as a pantheist, but to me, pantheism is spicy atheism.
What is your vision for collective liberation?
I envision collective liberation occurring through psychiatric reform, ultimately leading to its abolition, and through religious deconstruction.
Religion imposes limitations on the minds of the masses, causing them to surrender control to the oppressive colonial, capitalist, patriarchal system without realizing it. This, along with the division it promotes, hinders the unity of mind and purpose needed for liberation.
Psychiatry imprisons and pathologizes many individuals who are awakening to their own divinity and personal power. It silences the wisdom of those who see through the illusion created by oppressive systems and by challenging their credibility, it prevents them from guiding us towards their vision of heaven on Earth.
The negative impacts of these institutions extend beyond individuals to the planet itself, so we have the Earth’s support on our journey to liberation from them. By becoming more in tune with the needs of our environment, we can find guidance in dismantling these harmful systems. Becoming a vessel for that guidance for Mother Earth's wisdom to flow through us starts with individual healing and nervous system regulation.
Hear more from Laurel
On Science x Spirituality & Nervous System Healing
1×
0:00
-4:59
Dark Magic for Radical Baddies 😈
As a subversive and contentious witch, what do you recommend as the must fundamental/necessary rites and rituals to stay protected?
Having good intentions and practicing shadow work are essential.
Many people claim they had to abandon witchcraft to return to the church, but I believe it's because they failed to maintain their intentions, or they just didn't have good intentions in the first place, and the Universe redirected them to organized religion to impose some constraints on them. It's crucial to consistently put positivity out into the Universe, and ensure our intentions remain pure. The stoic wisdom of “Do no harm, take no shit” is a principle worth living by.
Moon rituals for inner work are also extremely important.
They ensure that you're evolving in harmony with the Universe, while also healing yourself to reach your fullest potential as a radical, magical baddie. Inner work is inherently spiritual, helping you to raise your vibrations, gain a deeper understanding of low-vibrational energy, and to protect yourself from it. During inner work moon rituals, you're empowered to confront, heal, and release fears and doubts residing in your subconscious, as well as to embrace all aspects of yourself that society may have conditioned you to reject. This process is instrumental in mastering control over your inner 'demons.'
I host a monthly New Moon Liberation Circle in which I teach people how to do this inner work and turn their sensitivity and “mental illness” into the magic needed to create a new world.
One of my favorite images. It has so many metaphysical clues in it.
We've been programmed to believe that demons are bad and only evil, but when we truly get to know them, then we understand that they offer us healing, wisdom, and protection. Lilith is known as the Mother of Demons, and when I became conscious of her, I realized that even before I was aware of her presence, she was protecting me. The more I got to know other demonic entities and showed them love, the more they returned that love through protection, release from paranoia, and extremely helpful insight on the true nature of reality.
I love how you re-interpret myths for modern times. Do you have a favorite you might share with us? If it’s one about a dark goddess, even better :)
You know I’m going to talk about Lilith! Her myth served as a guide on my path through madness and religious deconstruction. It helped me reconnect with my divinity and indigenous spirituality. I believe this myth holds the power to guide other radical baddies to become the leaders we need to completely dismantle the patriarchy.1
Me clearly feeling extremely free the weekend I started becoming aware of Lilith’s presence in my unconscious mind thanks to cannabis, alcohol and an educated, mad, spiritually in tune man who kept trying to exorcize me.
In Lilith’s myth, she’s the first wife of Adam. They were both created from the earth at the same time; she was not formed from the rib of the man like Eve was. It is said that during intercourse, she wanted to be on top, but Adam disagreed. He saw her as inferior, so he wanted her to lay beneath him.
To escape unfair treatment, Lilith called on the ineffable name of God that only she knew - the name I learned about in the cult I was raised in - and she became a demon. She later met archangel Samael, also known as Satan, who is said to have orchestrated the fall of man. That is symbolized by his riding a serpent in Jewish folklore, and some believe that the serpent was in fact Lilith. 🐍
Lilith’s myth is highly empowering as it presents an alternative narrative: that the divine created men and women as equals, yet the egos of men forged an oppressive reality for women.
Furthermore, the myth highlights the hidden power of women—their unique connection to the divine, and their capacity to access knowledge inaccessible to men.
While Christians attribute Eve's deception to Satan, it's more plausible that the serpent was Lilith, either attempting to reveal to Eve how to liberate herself from her sexist partner, or plotting her ex's downfall. Both interpretations make far more sense than the traditional Christian view, which portrays Satan as a malicious deceiver with no motive for challenging Eve’s beliefs beyond opposing God. The only scripture in the Christian bible that makes any reference to Lilith is Isaiah 34:14, which I view as a prophecy that Lilith will ultimately find rest. Synthesizing her myth with that prophecy leads me to understand that if we know and leverage our divine power as women, we will achieve our liberation from this oppressive paradigm.
Hear more from Laurel
On distinguishing between demonic energies & evil
1×
0:00
-5:37
“I’m a witch”
1×
0:00
-3:04
Thanks for reading THE RADICAL BADDIE! Subscribe for free to receive weekly dispatches to your inbox.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading and hearing from Laurel as much as I have!! She is a tremendous gift to this world and I’m just so thrilled and honored she’s shared her story and her magic with our community.
If you enjoyed learning from Laurel, drop her some kind words in the comments 💐
This publication is a labor of love from me, arohi 🌸 The best way you can support my work is by engaging (where are my dialogical babes at) - leaving comments, asking questions, recommending Rad Baddies for me to profile next 👀 Maybe it’s you!!! Reply to this email and let me know.
In what is very very dark and dystopian times, I assert that there is, there has to be, Wisdom we can carve out from our Pain, Grief, and Darkness. Especially in the last month when I feel like Kali has been dancing through my life and the Collective’s, with earth-shattering destruction and pain, my natural reaction is to want to melt into a weeping pudd…
Tiktok failed to load.
